Home – Day 88 – August 27, 2021

Sorry, short blog tonight…

Couple of reasons…. my battery is almost dead in my tablet, but mostly, not feeling it.

I’m sick, got a weird headache, feeling bloated, out of sync.

My senior kitty is close to the end, and that has me pretty out of sorts. She’s 15ish years old, a rescue form a horrific situation and has had a beautiful life with us, but that’s not numbing the pain of potentially losing her. She’s not eating, lost a ton of weight and is constantly meowing in the most mournful and heartbreaking way…

So its to the vet with her…

I’m also feeling discouraged, though I shouldn’t be…

My current NFT expired without so much as a bid. Sellig NFT’s would really help.

As it stands, I’m going to to have to come to grips with the fact that I am NOT going to make a living at photography and that I am going to have to regulate it to a secondary pursuit and try and find suitable work.

That has my anxiety on max. I haven’t worked for another person since my back surgery two years ago and I am literally shaking at the prospect. PTSD much.

I was really optimistic that I would be able to make a go of it as a full time photographer. I worked my butt off, still working my butt off, every single say growing and evolving and pushing and learning…

All of that effort is worthwhile, photography after all save my life…

I just wanted so badly for it to be ALL my life…

So badly…

This is hard…

But again, for my family… well…. I would do just about anything….

Here’s a favorite photo from a favorite place that just looking at puts me at ease…

Good night friends….

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