I’m trying to learn ways to cope and deflect the anxiety.

Most days its fine, you know, I know what I am doing is good work, I know what the work does for me mentally and that helps.

But then there’s the reality.

It’s tough…

It’s tough trying to make a living at this thing, it’s tough being against the wall with it.

The reality is, I need to make at LEAST 2k a month in order to survive if not thrive…

I’m not there yet.

I was hopeful that NFT’s would be the answer, and they may still be. The potential to make a living from selling NFT’s is there, the potential to make LIFECHANGING money is there…

But it’s kind of a carrot and stick

There are just enough people doing well selling their photographs as NFT’s to make the rest of us believe that it could be us next.

But man, the quality of the work that is selling, the exotic locals ( btw I believe Newfoundland is every bit as exotic as anywhere else on earth ), it makes it hard to believe you could break through you know

So we get to the drone idea.

I am buying one, soon. I had hoped to make a few more calendar sales, maybe a few prints. I have the money for it now, BUT, as I just finished saying, I need 2k a month to survive. If I spend 2k on the drone and the training, then that’s a month’s survival..

Personally, I think its’ worth it. I think there is money to be made BEYOND the fine art realm doing shoots for Real Estate Agents, Tourism Operators etc. It’s just a huge gamble to make, spending a months worth on money on this thing.

My wife, god love her, so supportive. She sees the benefit to the drone, she thinks it could be a huge boon to the business, but I see the worry in her eyes as well.

I don’t know, this winter is going to be rough.

I was talking to a representative from tourism culture industry and innovation for the province and I am cautiously optimistic something will come of that regarding next year and the photo tours, but there are no guarantees.

I have also applied for an ArtsNL grant, and again, there are no guarantees…

Anyone who has known me for a while, followed me, you know I have worked harder at making this work than if I had a full time job. I am at this 24/7, I eat, sleep and breath my art and the beauty of the province.

I just wish the hard work meant less worries instead of more,

And maybe I am kidding myself, maybe the hard work means nothing in the scheme of things and I would be better off going to work somewhere else and let someone else do the worrying…

Dunno…. I just dunno….

I try to remain optimistic…. but again…. truth… I am worried and I am scared….